Friday, August 13, 2010

I wish I hadn’t let you go...


You came to me smiling,
I remember that day.
my eyes were glued to you.
my words were without say.

How will I forget moments
merrily shared with you.
But they will live so shorter
I never had a clue.

Didn’t you hear my screech?
whining through that night.
Shattered you left me chase
your last dimming sight.

You will leave for ever
had I ever know.
seized you in my arms
to never let you go.

All it takes to heal the wound
is your gentle touch.
After suffering all this years
am I asking much?

living here a life of death
come back once to me.
promise you to take along
till the end of sea.

I feel you ever near to me
in wait of my one call.
And spread up your arms  
to forgive me for all.

You come along the first light
as night turns to dawn.
brace me tightly and just say
you were never gone.

tell me baby, just the once,
you were never gone.

                                -Rahul

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Losing my mind.


I wake to see another day full of shame and disgrace
step out to lose my wounded pride bit by bit in killer race

Everyday a hopeless face looks at me with scornfulness
from the mirror raise the furor roiling blood inside veins

A drop of tear rolls down the face and heart goes into pain
I see a graveyard of my dreams graced by things I’ve gain

I blame no one for life’s misery but me and my cursed fate
Once unending pride for self, I am here with endless hate

‘what u dreamt and what u got has aught to do with luck
get up and break the shackles of grim holding you stuck’

I asked ‘who you are?’ to the voice I heard ringing aloud
Apace came the answer ‘Son, look up through the cloud!’

                                                          -Rahul Zode

Friday, July 2, 2010

Awaiting Trek

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Bless me Death....

Sometimes life takes you the point where you start questioning the existence of God...his Power...and his unbiased Grace. When I wrote this Poem my belief on God was shaken and I, the theist, didn't shame to curse the Almighty. 

Life is not worth shucks
can’t live it any more.
Me, like a wrecked ship
laid at distant shore.

I see the hopeless future
awaiting every morrow.
En route to my goals
boulevards gone narrow.

Was I doomed to failure
did not I give my best?
Ever in this drudgery
had I taken rest?

Oh god, you so ruthless
revel in game of breath.
I dare you prove me wrong
if not, bless me death.
                   ---Rahul

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

My Wish......

wrote 1 year after the first poem..  


I saw one couple passing as I looked out of window
She held his hand tightly while stepping over snow
I wanted to hold you but afraid of hurting you
I want you to kill me for the crime I didn’t do


When everyone had someone to share their feeling
I spoke to myself within walls and under dark ceiling
I wanted to tell you but afraid of hurting you
I want you to kill me for the crime I didn’t do


Those last days were life-taking as you walked away
I wish you heard the feelings my heartbeats tried to say
I wanted to scream loud but afraid of hurting you
I want you to kill me for the crime I didn’t do


I dunno what brought you so close to my heart
But death is only reason that’ll separate us apart
I wanted to be alive but afraid of hurting you
I want you to kill me for the crime I didn’t do


I want you to kill me for the crime of loving you
I want you to kill me for the crime of losing you
                                                 --Rahul

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Don't you feel the way I feel about You....

This is the Song I had written during my college days. 
Found it on one loose page in my closet and hence sharing it with you. 
The use of words is simple and song might seem jejune but they all came with the burst of emotions.
I hope you will like it.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
I know, I m not the best person in world
But you are the purest of pure pearl
Gimme chance honey, gimme the life
My heart is nicking, take out the knife


This life was boring before you came
Days and nights were nothing but same
Now I sleep to hug you in my dream
And wake up with you in morning gleam


I may not take you to the wonderland
And build the castle with magic wand
As these are the things out of my control
But I promise you my life and my soul


The world is so big and life is so short
Will love you forever with all my heart
Be the princess of my home of sand
Make me prince by holding my hand


You pass me by through blowing breeze
You speak and my time comes to freeze
I wanna kiss you and this feeling is new
Don’t you feel the way I feel about you?


Don’t you feel the way I feel about you?

                                              --Rahul

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Holocaust of Dreams...Part 6

With the whistle of train I came back to reality from wild imagination that triggered me after seeing that baby. I had almost seen his future through my eyes during those few minutes. The Train left from Hazrat Nizzamuddin for the next station; New Delhi. My destination was just 20 minutes away from Nizzamuddin station. The last 20 minutes of my suffering and then everything will be fine, I thought. On its way I saw Humayun ka makbara a beautiful tomb of Mughal king Humayun built by his wife. I could see a glimpse of parliament building lying far away and shining in the golden morning sunbeams. The traffic condition on Delhi’s road was in a deplorable state even in the presence of broad roads. One peculiar thing I noticed on Delhi road was that the pillion riders were wearing helmets along with the rider and it was strange sight for a boy from a city where even bike rider won’t wear helmet. It was a funny to see that they were following traffic rules so sincerely. Though may be not out of responsibility but out of fear of cop and heavy fine thereafter.

Around 7’O clock my train reached New Delhi Railway Station. I alighted on platform and stood outside S6 coach as instructed by my Massi. Actually the person who was supposed to pick me from the station was my distant relative and my Massi had told him that I will be standing near S6 coach so that neither he nor I would have to search for each other. You can call him my Jiju; a brother in law. I had not seen him neither he had any knowledge of my existence until two days before when he was asked to get me from the station and help me to find my reporting office. Three days before in Nagpur at my Massi’s home I was shown a VCR of Jiju’s marriage. A handsome, dashing man, sporting moushtache, height about 5’11”. Slim physique. These were the points I had taken note of so that I won’t miss him at station.

I stood there for almost 20 minutes starving out of hunger when one person approached me asking for my name. I didn’t recognize him at first sight. He introduced himself as Mahesh Gupta. Oh. He was the same person I was waiting for. My jiju. But something was there which caused me fail to identify him. He had put on weight and gone little fat. And yes his moustache was missing. That was the reason I failed to catch him at first look.

He generously lifted one of my heavy bags and asked me to follow him as he started moving towards the stairway. I could barely climb those dirty stairs leading to the over bridge stained with dried spittle of betel leaves which Indian people just love to chew. The Indian railways station’s filthy state was no different even at main station of Indian Capital. Few beggars-the most unproductive people of India-were sleeping on stairs blocking my way.

Jiju took me to the parking lot where my first ride on Delhi’s road was waiting. He easily managed to take his scooter out from that scrambled place. He gave me one spare helmet which he used to carry always with him. He told me that even if you are riding alone it’s better to keep one extra helmet for some unexpected and irresistible lift coming your way. You cannot afford to miss such chance, he wanted to tell me. I chuckled on his unsought explanation to my unasked question. I deduced his hidden advice and worn that helmet thinking how many such irresistible lifts had worn this before. He took his scooter from the narrow lanes of Paharganj to the broad roads of NH10, from straight highways to serpentine flyovers. Buses running indiscriminately one after another as if some Indian Grand Prix was going around ... Heavy construction work under way… honking, honking and more honking….heavy traffic jams.

Finally we reached his home at Paschim Vihar. Pinki didi was at Kitchen when we entered the house. I was seeing her after quite long time, may be 6-7 years. My memory of last meeting with her was not so clear. They had three year old son Kishu and Jijus mother in the family. A small happy family. Immediately after putting my luggage in hall I went downstairs to call home and inform my dad about my safe arrival at Delhi and at Didi’s home too. I went to nearby STD booth and dialed my neighbor’s phone number. During those days in our locality only my neighbor had Landline which he got connected after 6 months of waiting at BSNL office….. (To be continued)